About ten months ago, I came across a blogger’s post in which she described her own experience of becoming envious of the people she followed on social media and more critical and unsatisfied with her own life. She discussed how she had a particular friend that she had become jealous of because this friend and her husband were always taking vacations to exotic places, had the perfect family, and were just so happy. At least that’s how it appeared on Facebook with her pictures, posts, and comments. But then this blogger and her husband went out to dinner with this friend and the friend’s husband, and the two argued the entire time. It was the most uncomfortable dinner because the two of them were angry with each other the entire time and were obviously dealing with some marital issues. The blogger realized that even though this friend made it appear on Facebook that her life was wonderful and she was incredibly happy, the reality was that she had problems just like anybody else, and the blogger was probably happier in her own marriage and life. The blogger wrote about how we (or most of us) only highlight the wonderful events going on in our lives, and over time it becomes a pattern in that it’s all we see.

Open Facebook or Instagram, or any other social media account, and you’ll see pictures of beautiful food or places, posts about getting engaged, having a baby, or being in love, or comments about how wonderful life is at the moment. But most of the time, we don’t see the real posts, pictures or comments about everyday life. When was the last time you saw a picture of a friend folding laundry or cooking in a messy, small kitchen? Or a comment or post about meeting a work deadline or simply mowing the grass?

There have been numerous articles and studies about the effects of social media on self-esteem, life satisfaction, and mental health in recent years. According to Medical News Today, studies have shown that social media can cause or increase depression and anxiety, make people feel less confident compared to their friends, and have overall negative emotions.

The research shows especially concerning effects on teenagers with increased depression and anxiety. Teenagers are not only dealing with the concerns that adults face on social media in terms of seeing these only seemingly happy and successful posts, but are also encountering bullying, stalking, ignoring, and FOMO, or fear of missing out. “Peer acceptance is a big thing for adolescents, and many of them care about their image as much as a politician running for office, and to them it can feel as serious. Add to that the fact that kids today are getting actual polling data on how much people like them or their appearance via things like “likes.” It’s enough to turn anyone’s head.” Rachel Ehmke, Child Mind Institute

So is there anything that you can do to decrease the chances that social media will affect your own mental health, or as a parent to help your child or teenager? Medical New Today reported that some studies have shown that social media can actually be used to increase happiness if done correctly. It was found that people who post less pictures, have fewer Facebook friends, and post positive status updates tend to be happier among users of social media.

 

Here are some tips from Mashable:

Create a self-appreciation folder on your phone

Consider looking up self-motivating and appreciation quotes and pictures and storing them in a folder on your phone.

Delete the apps from your phone

Removing the apps from your phone and limiting yourself to looking at the social media sites only on your computer will limit how much time you spend on the sites.

Avoid Instagram’s ‘Explore’ tab

These are photos that normally wouldn’t appear in your timeline, and these photos are ones that can easily make people feel bad about themselves.

Unfollow accounts that make you feel bad

Why follow pages and groups that make you feel envious? This also can be said for any friends or acquaintances – you can still remain friends on social media, but you don’t have to follow their account.

Impose a limit on your social media usage

If you can’t delete the apps from your phone, consider placing a limit on when you use them. For example, only use the apps during the workday and don’t use them during your free time.

Turn off your push notifications

Turning off the notifications so that your phone won’t alert you when you aren’t in the app will help reduce the temptation to open up the app.  Rachel Thompson, Mashable

 

The important thing to remember with social media, similar to what the blogger reminded me about, is that social media isn’t a representation of reality. Try to stop comparing your own life to everyone else’s representation of their life that you see on social media.